One final thought about Eirion

I can't sleep, so I figured I'd get up and blog a bit.

In my previous posts I forgot to document one of my favorite memories of Eirion and one I definitely don't want to forget.

Eirion most definitely knew who her mommy was and her favorite place to be was in my arms.  I have mentioned before that she was quite a  fussy baby, but she loved to be held by me and when I held her she would stop crying.

When other people would hold her and she would hear my voice, most of the time she would cry until I held her.  When my sister would hold her she would tell me not to talk because she knew if Eirion heard my voice, she'd cry.  Sometimes, if I was particularly busy it was kind of a nuisance, but most of the time as a mother --it was gratifying.  It's nice to know that your baby knows who you are and loves to be held by you.

She loved to be sung to and we sang to her a lot.  Layne's song for Eirion was Caledonia.  My song consisted of whatever primary or nursery rhyme song that came to mind at the moment.  Kyrie also had a song.  It was Beth by Kiss.  Now lest you think we are Kiss fans(we are not), Kyrie heard that song on a TV show, liked it,  and put it on her iPod.  I know it sounds strange, but Eirion loved that song and when Kyrie sang it to her she would stop crying.  It was like magic.

One time I came home after taking the younger boys to school and Devon was singing a song from Tangled to her.  She had been crying, he started to sing to her and she stopped.  It's pretty touching to see your 14 year-old son singing so lovingly to his baby sister.

Zak, Micah and Rowan would also sing to her.  We had a baby monitor and one time she was in our bedroom on the bed and Micah and Rowan were in there with her.  I was in the kitchen and soon I heard them singing primary songs to her.

As I think of new memories, I might add them from time to time.  After we had Jared(#7) and thought we were done, I was fine with that.  When we found out we were expecting Eirion, after the initial shock wore off, I was excited to have another baby in the house.  Because she was here so briefly, sometimes I feel kind of like I've been robbed.  I'm not angry or bitter at the Lord, I just don't feel like I got my fill of baby time.  I keenly feel the emptiness of my arms without her and sometimes it makes me really sad.  Sometimes I still get to hold her in my dreams at night.

I hope people with new babies don't shy away from me for fear that they might hurt my feelings.  I am genuinely happy for other people when they have a new, healthy baby.

 I look forward to the day when my children start having their own babies.  Hopefully, they'll live close and I can love on grandbabies in the near future(but not too near).  :)