July passed and suddenly it was August and we were getting the kids ready to start another school year. We were also preparing Kyrie leave the nest and start her first semester at BYU. Our days were filled with school supply shopping, meet the teacher, schedule changes and packing Kyrie's things. School started August 11.
When Layne returned from England, he brought each of the kids a gift. Eirion's gift was a sheep. It is adorable, with big purple eyes and this sheep became Eiron's confidant. When she would lay on our bed, she would look at this little sheep and tell it all of her woes. She "talked" to this little sheep a lot. We put it in her bassinet. She seemed to like it.
On August 14, Eirion didn't seem to be feeling well. She had had a bad night and there was a little hitch in her breathing. I didn't worry about it, because that had happened off and on since birth. I told Layne that I didn't think we should take her to church that day.
Layne went to church, then he came home and I went. When church ended, I took Devon and Zak with me and while Kyrie followed in another car with the other kids.
Zak and Devon made it into the house before me and as I was getting out of the car, they both yelled at me to hurry and get in the house. I ran in and Layne had Eirion on the floor and was on the phone with the 911 operator.
I dropped down and started doing everything I had been taught to try and get her breathing. We started CPR. The paramedics, police and ambulance came just a couple of minutes later. Kyrie took all the kids into another room so the paramedics could work.
Layne said he had been holding her and she was fussy and arched her back, so he put her up on his shoulder and started patting her back. He was feeling sleepy while he held her, and he said she relaxed, took 2 really good deep breaths and then just stopped. He ran in to get the suction machine and then called 911.
The paramedics worked with her for a bit, then we all loaded into the ambulance and headed to the hospital. Layne stayed and talked to the kids for just a minute, then followed.
When we got to the hospital, they had a medical team waiting. They worked on her for about an hour and told me there wasn't a whole lot of hope. When Layne got there and they told him the news, he told them to go ahead and stop. Our little princess had returned to her Father in Heaven.
Even though we always knew losing her was a possibility, the reality is so much worse and so much harder than you imagine.
The most common reason that babies with Trisomy 13 pass away, is that for whatever reason, they just stop breathing. Even knowing this, after she passed away, I started to feel a lot of guilt. I wondered if I had done something wrong, if I should have taken her to the doctor that morning, if I had missed something, if this in some way was my fault. In our faith, we believe in priesthood blessings. I had three of them. Two from my husband and one from my dad. In them I was told that it was not my fault, that I had done nothing wrong and she only needed to be here for a short time. In the week after she passed away, we received an immense amount of peace and comfort--that this was all a part of the plan. We believe that because of all the love and prayers of others and ourselves, her life was extended in the first place. The Lord let us keep her for a while, but then he needed her back.
I'm grateful that she passed away the way she did--in her daddy's loving arms. Not on an operating table or some other horrible way.
Suddenly we were planning a funeral. We had a tremendous outpouring of love and support from all our friends and family. I can never thank everyone enough for all the kindness, help and love we received. The funeral was very spiritual and beautiful. My mom had crocheted her a beautiful, lacy, white dress for her blessing. She was still small enough to fit into it, so that is what we chose to have her buried in. Our beautiful, pure, white angel.
We all adored Eirion and I still miss her every single day. I suppose I probably always will and that's o.k.
People always say that Eirion was so lucky and blessed to come to our family. We feel like we were the ones who were blessed to have her with us. Our lives have been forever changed and blessed because of her. Our children will never look at special needs kids the same. They will see beyond the damaged body and mind and into the spirit. We will have more compassion toward others.
Eirion was truly a blessing to us. Words cannot express how much we love her. She was a little, tiny girl with a great big spirit and now she is our little angel in heaven watching over us. I know we will see her again and are striving to be worthy to be with her forever.
Our Little Princess
Eirion Lorraine Gneiting
March 4, 2011-August 14, 2011.
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